Letting go feels like the last thing we ever want to do as a fire service professional.
Our job is to show up on scene and assume control. Assume command of the situation. Have the answers. Manage the variables. Rescue the family dog from a structure fire and, because apparently that wasn't enough, resuscitate it too.
Control is practically part of the uniform.
The problem is that the habit of constantly holding power over the situation can get us into trouble when life happens to us. Much of life is random. Outcomes, despite our best efforts and our heroic attempts to do everything exactly right, still go the way they go.
And that's where we get ourselves into trouble. Our stress often comes when we refuse to accept the outcome and start trying to micromanage a situation that’s going to go the way it’s going to go.
This is where the art of letting go can serve us, because our happiness does not have to hinge on what’s going on outside of us.
Happiness and satisfaction are moment-by-moment choices we make.
But without that self-awareness (or some intentional mental performance training) it can feel like we're constantly trying to fix things in our lives until we finally reach that mythical state of perfection where we can relax and be happy.
Good luck with that.
Just when we've finally wrangled all the sheep into the pen, one breaks loose and goes sprinting into the neighbor's field like it has somewhere important to be.
Life is awful. Then it is amazing. Then it is awful again. The other moments are simply ordinary.
How much time have you spent living only for the amazing moments? Chasing that fleeting high of having every aspect of your life perfectly contained for approximately seven seconds before something inevitably catches fire?
Learning to release control often comes with maturity, as the blows of life teach us how small and insignificant we really are when it comes to controlling every variable. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But it's also a skill we can intentionally practice as we hone our mental performance.
I challenge you to start today.
Find one person in your life who drives you absolutely crazy. Someone you may or may not have tried to manipulate into being nicer, more tolerable, less chaotic, or generally easier to deal with.
Now let go of your control over who they are. Let them be exactly what they are.
Can you let them be them and you be you?
Remember, there is separation between the two of you. And in that separation, you'll find some breathing room. They're responsible for their words and actions. You are responsible for yours.
The same applies to situations.
Can you let something be miserable without immediately having to fix it? Can you call back the energy you've been wasting trying to change the circumstances and redirect your attention somewhere else?
You don't have to fix every damn thing. That's a tough one for people in a profession built around fixing things.
These two practices are easier said than done. But the rewards you reap by actively applying them to your life are great and bit by bit, your ability to detach grows stronger.
Releasing control isn't giving up. It’s moving with the flow of things and accepting that they don’t have to define you, unless you get sucked into the antics and the drama.
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